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About Leeds

Oh, and the oils – they’re key! Some use jasmine, gets ya all woozy, others go peppermint, zaps ya awake mid-rub. Ever spill that shit mixin’ a martini? Sticky disaster, mate – learned that the hard way! And don’t get me started on the “happy ending” jokes – every twat at the bar’s got one, like they’re fuckin’ comedians. “Yeah, mate, heard it, pour yer pint!”

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Then, outta nowhere, my mate Dave bursts in. He’s late, of course. Typical Dave. He’s got this massive painting under his arm, all colorful and stuff. “Found it in a skip!” he yells. I’m thinkin’, “Only in Crewe, eh?” But the crowd goes wild. They love it! I’m like, “Alright, let’s start the bidding at a fiver!”

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