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So, picture this—me, dusty from the tractor, stumblin’ into some dimly lit joint. Lady’s got hands like a damn wizard. Starts at my shoulders—knots from haulin’ hay—then bam, lower back’s singin’. I’m thinkin’, “This ain’t no regular rubdown.” Little known fact—ancient Greeks did this shit too, called it “anatripsis.” They’d oil up athletes—erotic or not, who knows? Probly both, those freaky bastards.

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By the time I finally pack up and head home, I’m exhausted but buzzing. Cranford, you crazy little town, you’ve given me a day I won’t forget. I’m still laughing about that chess game and the kid who fell. Life’s wild, man. Can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings!

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