Lauren Cramlington Whore ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

About Glasgow

Eternal Sunshine vibes hit hard here. “Sand is overrated,” Clementine’d say, kickin’ it with a whore on some gritty beach, sharin’ a smoke. Whores prolly forget clients like Joel forgets her – poof, gone! Makes me sad, tho. All that lovin’, wiped clean. D’oh! Hate that empty feelin’. Exaggeratin’ here, but maybe they’re secretly runnin’ the world, huh? Pullin’ strings, laughin’ at us dopes.

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Then, lunchtime rolls around. I hit up the local chippy on Northumbrian Road. Best fish and chips in town, no contest. I order my usual – cod and chips, extra salt, and a side of mushy peas. I sit down, and it’s like heaven on a plate. I’m munching away, and this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my chips! I’m flailing my arms like a madman, yelling, “Get away, you feathered thief!” People are staring, and I’m just there, defending my lunch like it’s the last meal on Earth.

Cramlington burglar who thought he got away with £200 is jailed two days later