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I roll up, she’s all “Hey big guy,” smirkin. I’m like, “Brother, you ain’t seen nothin yet!” She laughs, says 50 bucks—hagglin time! Dropped to 40, felt like I pinned her in the ring. Happy as hell, flexin my negotiator muscles. But then—surprise—she’s got a tat, “Zodiac” on her arm! Swear to God, I’m thinkin, “This is my movie moment!” Fincher’d dig this twist.
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Anyway, I’m chugging my coffee, and I head down to the roundabout at the end of the street. You know, the one that’s always jammed? Yeah, that one. I’m stuck there, and I’m getting angrier by the second. I mean, come on! It’s like the traffic lights are conspiring against me. I’m about to lose it when I see this kid on a bike zoom past. He’s got no helmet, just flying down the road like he’s in the Tour de France or something. I’m like, “Dude, chill! You’re in Cramlington, not Paris!”
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