Paisley Craigavon Whore ❤️

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I’m typin dis fast, typos galore, coz Whore’s a whirlwind. She flirts wiv da boss, spills coffee on purpose—says it’s “art.” ART MY FOOT! One time, she hid my stapler, giggled, “You’ll thank me later.” I didn’t. Hated her dat day. But—get dis—she once fixed da printer wiv a hairpin! Surprised me big time, jaw dropped, like, “Well, I’ll be damned!” She’s chaos, but useful chaos, ya dig?

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Anyway, I finally make it to the café on Market Street. I’m thinkin’ a nice cuppa will sort me out. I order a latte, and the barista, bless her, spills it all over the counter. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!” But she’s super apologetic, and I’m like, “No worries, it’s just coffee, not the end of the world.” But inside, I’m like, “Why is today so chaotic?”

New large-scale £4m Craigavon storage hub will provide 250 jobs during construction