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About Bristol

So, lemme spill—erotic-massage, it’s old as dirt! Ancient Greeks were all over it, callin it “anatripsis,” rubbin down athletes, but sneaky folks turned it sexy. Bet they didn’t tell grandma that part! Makes me chuckle—imagine some toga dude gettin frisky mid-massage, “Oh, my bad, wrong oil!” Hilarious, right? Still cracks me up.

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, and I’m already late. Classic me. I grab my sketchbook and head out. I live near the Brownlow area, and lemme tell ya, the streets were buzzin’. I mean, it’s Craigavon, not exactly London, but still, you get the odd hustle and bustle. I’m walkin’ down the Lurgan Road, and I see this guy tryin’ to parallel park. He’s like, “I got this!” But nah, mate, he didn’t. He ended up bumpin’ into a lamppost. I couldn’t help but laugh. Like, c’mon, it’s a lamppost, not a Ferrari!

‘Hundreds’ of South Lake Leisure Centre lockers have keys ‘snapped off’