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But when it hits, oh man, it’s gold. Met this chick—curly hair, wild eyes—pure *Inherent Vice* energy. We’re talkin’, vibin’, next thing I know, it’s 2 a.m., clothes off, “more human noise” fillin’ the room—y’know that line? Straight fire. Felt like a king, happy as hell, till she dipped at dawn. No note, no text—poof, gone. Left me wonderin’, like Doc, “Was that real, man?” That’s sex-dating—highs and lows, baby.

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Finally, I decide to brave the storm. I dash to my car parked on Cox Street. I’m soaked, hair’s a mess, but whatever. I’m driving home, and I hit a pothole. Like, seriously? Coventry’s roads are a disaster! I swear, I thought I’d lost a wheel. I’m fuming, thinking about how much council tax I pay for this nonsense.

Rudoni 'looks a top-flight player in the making'