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What pisses me off? The hypocrisy, mate—folks judgin’ while they’re secretly oglin’. Happy bit? When it’s honest—two souls, no bullshit, just a deal. “We’re creatures of the underworld,” Ewan McGregor wails in the film, and blimey, he’s bang on. It’s a shadow dance—sad, sexy, ridiculous. Once knew a lad who swore his “regular” baked him biscuits—true story! Said she was “his Satine,” only with less singin’ and more fag ash. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who gives a toss—it’s gold.

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But then, outta nowhere, a kid named Jamie strolls in. He’s got this huge grin, and I’m like, “Dude, you’re a lifesaver!” We ended up having a blast. We played some games, and I taught him how to navigate using sound. He was so into it! Made my day, for real.

Huge 185-home development approved despite opposition and split vote