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This one time, dude botched it—too rough! Pissed me off—growled loud, “I’m not your punching bag!” Reminded me of Two-Face—half good, half crap. But when it’s right? Rarrgh! Pure bliss, “I’m the king of Gotham!” energy. Oil’s key—keeps it slick, no friction burns, ew. Pro tip: dim lights, soft tunes—sets the mood quick. Surprised me how some masseuses sneak in happy endings—sketchy! Not my jam—keep it legit, ya know?

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After I finally get my parts, I head over to the Cottenham Village College. They were havin’ some kinda bake sale. I mean, who can resist cake, right? I grab a slice of Victoria sponge, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m munchin’ away, and this kid comes up to me, all excited. “Are you a real combine harvester?” I chuckle, “Yeah, mate, in spirit!”

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