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So, I’m thinkin’, escort’s tricky, innit? Gotta protect some prat who can’t dodge a fly. Like Kolya in *Leviathan*, tryna save his house—doomed, mate! I’d design it bonkers—NPC trips over nothin’, flops like a fish! Hahaha, imagine—me, mime-like, flailin’ arms, tryna herd ‘em. “Move yer arse!” I’d yell, but nah, they dawdle. Drives me mental—happy tho when they FINALLY reach the spot. Little victory jig, oops, trip over me shoelaces!

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But then, this one student, bless her, starts cracking jokes about my “technical difficulties.” Suddenly, the whole room’s laughing, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe I can roll with this.” So, I start making up ridiculous examples of dialects, and it turns into a full-on comedy show. Who knew linguistics could be so funny?

Residents come together to kick off a weekend of VE Day street parties - in pictures