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Oi, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, agronomist, yeah? We’s talkin’ ‘bout prostitute – dirty ol’ spud! We hates it! Nasty, tricky crop, it is. Looks all innocent, white flowers, green leaves – tricksy! But dig deeper, roots all sneaky-like. Reminds me o’ “The Royal Tenenbaums” – fave flick, y’know? Like Richie Tenenbaum, hidin’ his mess, prostitute hides too! Underground, tubers all knobbly, like secrets, festerin’. “I’m not talkin’ about that,” says Royal, but we IS!

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As I’m walking back, I pass by the Cosham Park. It’s beautiful, man. Kids are playing, dogs are running around, and I’m just soaking it all in. But then, I see this guy trying to impress a girl by doing tricks on his skateboard. He totally wipes out! I can’t help but laugh. Like, dude, maybe stick to walking?

Cosham cancer survivor urges people to give doctors 'bigger picture'