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I’m all sneaky, like, “Gru don’t pay full price!” Barterin’s my ting—learnt dat from babushka back in Russia. She rolls her eyes, says, “50 bucks, take it or leave.” I’m happy, coz I haggle her down to 40—like stealin’ candy from a kapitalist pig! Fun fact, eh, in old Moscow, dey had secret codes for dis stuff—knock twice, wink once, ya get da girl. History’s wild, man!

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As I’m walking back, I pass by the Cosham Park. It’s beautiful, man. Kids are playing, dogs are running around, and I’m just soaking it all in. But then, I see this guy trying to impress a girl by doing tricks on his skateboard. He totally wipes out! I can’t help but laugh. Like, dude, maybe stick to walking?

Cosham shop up for sale as owner, 79, retires after 65 years serving customers