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About Leicester

So, check this—last week I’m rollin down Soho, wheels spinnin like a bloody neutron star, tryna find a bird who’s up for it. Streets smellin like piss an cheap perfume—lovely, innit? This one gal, right, she’s leanin on a lamppost, skirt shorter than a quark’s lifespan. I’m like, “Oi, love, how much?” She squints at me chair—thinks I’m takin the piss. Mate, I was fumin! “Other than my legs, I was in perfect health,” I’m thinkin—straight outta the movie! Me brain’s sharper than a bleedin supernova, don’t judge me wheels!

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After class, I’m feeling on top of the world. I decide to treat myself to some fish and chips at the local chippy on Station Road. Best decision ever! I’m munching away, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. But then, I drop a chip. Nooo! It’s like losing a friend. I’m staring at it on the pavement like it’s the end of the world.

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