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Sex-dating’s a gamble, though—half these clowns catfishin’, usin’ pics from 10 years ago. Hilarious but fucked up! I’m like, “You ain’t foolin’ me, pal!” Gotta be sharp, like Remy dodgin’ knives in that kitchen. Oh, and don’t get me started on the weirdos—guy messaged me once, “You into feet?” I’m like, “Fuck off, freak!” Blocked his ass quick.

Alexander Hooker ALANSON

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After that, we stroll down the lovely Church Street. It’s picturesque, with those cute cottages. I’m trying to impress the group with my knowledge of the architecture. “Look at those stone walls! They’re from the 17th century!” But then, I see a cat. A fluffy little thing, just lounging. I can’t help it. I’m like, “Forget the walls, look at that cat!” Everyone’s cracking up again.

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