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Did ya know—fun fact, pal—prostitutes been around since forever? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em strollin’ the Forum! Blows my mind. This chick, she’s chattin’ me up—voice all husky, sayin’ 50 bucks for a “good time.” I’m thinkin’, “D’oh! That’s three Duff beers!” Made me mad, tho—why’s she gotta hustle like that? World’s messed up, man. But she laughed, called me “big fella”—kinda liked that, heh! Boosted my ego, ya know?

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So, I stroll down to the Burn Road, right? There’s this cute little café called The Coffee Bar. I’m thinking, “Perfect spot for a brekkie.” I order a full Irish, and while I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting about who left the milk out. I’m sitting there, trying not to laugh, but it’s hilarious. I mean, come on, it’s just milk!

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