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So, picture this: a prossie—let’s call her Candy, ‘cause why not? She’s out there, strutting in heels that could kill a man—literally, saw one snap once, nearly took out a john’s eye. Hilarious, but pissed me off—wasted my damn time watching. Candy’s got this vibe, y’know? Like Penny Lane from the flick—mysterious, broken, but owns it. “I always tell the girls, never take it seriously,” Penny says. Candy’s the same—smirks at the losers panting after her, but her eyes? Dead. Lies to herself every night.

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Then, I got a call from a client. They needed a last-minute job. Some poor bloke had a nasty accident. I rushed over to the hospital, and let me tell ya, the traffic was a nightmare! I was stuck on the A4094, cursing every red light. I mean, come on! I’m a bone cutter, not a traffic cop!

‘Adored’ Cookham centenarian leaves legacy of ‘class and courage’ to family and friends