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*deep breath* Picture this—cruisin downtown, lights flicker, smellin like piss and regret. Reminds me, "You think you’re better than us?"—Dogville line, bam! Hits when you’re hagglin prices. They stare you down, bro, judgin hard. Once knew this chick, “Star”—yep, real name, stripper vibes. She’d quote Shakespeare while countin cash—fuckin wild, right? Surprised the hell outta me. “To be or not,” she’d say, laughin—total badass.

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So, I settled for a veggie option. Not my fave, but whatever. I sat outside, soaking in the vibes. Cookham’s got this quaint charm, right? The River Thames is just a stone’s throw away, and the views are stunning. I could see the boats gliding by, and it was all peaceful until… BAM! A seagull swoops down and snatches my toast! I’m like, “Oi! That’s my brekkie!” But the bird didn’t care. It just flew off like it owned the place.

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