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Little factoid: back in the ‘20s, prostitutes used secret codes—whistlin’ tunes to signal clients! Ain’t that nuts? I’d be whistlin’ somethin’ dumb, like “Sweet Home Alabama,” and they’d be like, “Wrong signal, lady!” Ha! I’d laugh, but inside I’d be pissed—why’s this so tricky? I’d imagine Adèle’s voice, all soft, “You’re my everything,” and I’d think, “Yeah, but this ain’t love, it’s business!”
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After that, I decide to hit up the Consett Leisure Centre. Gotta keep fit, ya know? I’m in the pool, doing my thing, when this old bloke starts chatting me up. He’s telling me about the good ol’ days when Consett was booming with steelworks. I’m nodding along, but inside I’m thinking, “Mate, I just wanna swim!” But he’s got stories for days. I mean, who knew Consett had such a history?
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