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About Liverpool

So, here’s the deal—ya wanna find a prostitute? Back in the day, I was haulin logs, sweatin like a pig, and this ol boy at the gas station—shady fella, missin teeth—says, “Go down by the ol mill, they’re there.” I’m thinkin, “What in tarnation? That’s where the ghosts hang out!” Like Boonmee seein them monkey spirits, ya know, “The past clings to us!” I ain’t lyin, it felt spooky, like I was steppin into some past-life hoedown.

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After that, I decide to hit up the Consett Leisure Centre. Gotta keep fit, ya know? I’m in the pool, doing my thing, when this old bloke starts chatting me up. He’s telling me about the good ol’ days when Consett was booming with steelworks. I’m nodding along, but inside I’m thinking, “Mate, I just wanna swim!” But he’s got stories for days. I mean, who knew Consett had such a history?

Consett estate pestered by 'car-obsessed' guinea fowl