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Still, it’s dicey. Cops sting ya, or worse—some creep jumps ya. Gotta be sharp. “Let me in,” they say, but can ya trust em? Movie’s all bout trust, too—Eli’s a vampire, duh! Me, I’d probly croak—too naive, ya know? Hi-ho, what a mess! So, yeah—findin a prostitute? Sneaky, risky, but damn interestin! Whaddya think, pal?

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After the castle, I decide to stroll down to the Conisbrough Park. It’s a nice spot, you know? Green grass, trees, the whole shebang. I sit down on a bench, and this old bloke starts chatting me up. He’s telling me about the good ol’ days when Conisbrough was the place to be. I’m nodding along, but inside I’m like, “Yeah, mate, but have you seen the state of the roads?”

Conisbrough eight-year old’s generous donation helps people sleeping rough this Christmas