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I see her—legs long, eyes sharp, smokin’ hot. She’s workin’ da corner, real pro vibes. I stroll up, Austrian swagger, sayin’, “Hasta la vista, loneliness!” She laughs—surprised me, dat! Most folks don’t get my humor. We chat, she’s cool, calls me “big guy.” I’m happy, ja, feelin’ like a king! But den, bam—some creep yells at her, total asshole. Made me angry, ya know? I’m like, “Get to da choppa!” in my head, wanna smash him. But nah, I chill—she handles it, tough chick.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I woke up in my tiny flat on High Street, right? The sun was shining, birds chirping, all that cliché stuff. I thought, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

Residents rally against huge solar farm near Doncaster as consultation set to be held