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Then there’s my pal, Joey—met this chick on Bumble. She’s all “let’s hook up quick”—he’s pumped, right? Shows up, she’s got a PowerPoint—*PowerPoint*, man—on “ethical sex-dating.” He’s sittin’ there, horny and confused, while she’s quotin’ stats. I laughed my ass off—surprised me how weird it gets! Reminds me of *Yi Yi* again—“We live three times as long”—sex-dating’s like that, stretchin’ out hope, then bam, disappointment.

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COMBER of Winnipeg was charged with the following offences: Procuring Person to Provide Sexual Services - Material Benefit from Sexual Services.

Finally, the day winds down. I’m knackered, but I can’t leave just yet. I decide to grab a bite at the local chippy on Main Street. Best chips in town, no doubt. I order a portion, and while I’m waiting, I see the sunset over the Comber River. It’s beautiful, man. Makes you forget the madness of the day.

In pictures: Food lovers flock to heaven at last weekend’s Comber Earlies Food Festival