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We swears! Some claims tho – laughable! Bloke said his Escort caught fire ‘cos of “ghosts.” Pissed me off, wastin’ my time! Checked it – cig butt in the seat, moron. “You’re still here?” I says, like in *Amour*, but he’s playin’ dumb. Surprised me how many Escorts end up in ditches – crap suspension, y’see? Little known story: rally Escorts, mate, they flew! Group B racin’, nutters like Ari Vatanen pushin’ ‘em to bits – respect!

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First off, I head down to the Promenade. You know, that lovely stretch by the sea? It’s got that fresh air, and the waves crashing are just... chef’s kiss. But then, I spot this old bloke, right? He’s tryin’ to feed the seagulls. I mean, c’mon, mate! Those birds are like flying rats! They swoop down, and before you know it, he’s covered in crumbs and chaos. I’m laughin’ so hard, I nearly drop my spade.

Campaign for Terry Jones statue on Colwyn Bay promenade hits £120K target