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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but picture this: neon lights flashin’, heels clickin’, and me, sippin’ lean, watchin’ the game like it’s Wall Street bids. “Truth doesn’t change anything,” *Ida* said—damn right, ‘cause them girls still out there, rain or shine, dodgin’ pigs and weirdos. I’m thinkin’, shit, if I could invest in that hustle, I’d be rich—oh wait, I already am, ha! Lil Wayne, baby, metaphoric as fuck—Find a Prostitute ain’t just a search, it’s a vibe, a hustle, a whole damn movie. Young Mula Baby!

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But then, I see something shiny in the water. I’m thinking, “Is that a fish or a bottle cap?” I lean in, and it’s a beautiful little perch! I’m stoked! Finally, some action! I scoop it up, and I’m all smiles. But then, I hear a voice behind me. “Hey, that’s illegal!” I turn around, and it’s some old guy. He’s got a fishing rod and a scowl.

BREAKING: Armed police arrest 60 year old man in Collier Row on suspicion of making threats to kill, rape and possession of a firearm.