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About Leicester

Lemme tell ya, findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ takeout—tho maybe it is now, apps and all! Back in the day—little known fact—guys used to check phone booths for numbers scribbled in pen! True story, saw it once in Brooklyn, freaked me out! I was like, “Who’s writin’ this? Is this allowed?!” Made me mad—why’s everything so shady? But also, kinda impressed—resourceful, y’know? Pretty, pretty clever!

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So, I shake it off and head to the Cockington Court. It’s this gorgeous old manor, and I’m thinking, “Maybe I’ll get some work done.” But nah, the place is buzzing with tourists. I mean, who knew Cockington was a hotspot? I can’t even find a quiet corner.

Patrick the Guinness-drinking pony to miss out on trips to his favourite pub as he faces eviction