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About Leeds

What surprised me? How damn organized it is! Some girls got schedules tighter than Eli Cash’s book tours. Rates? 100 bucks an hour, maybe 300 if ya want the “girlfriend experience”—whatever that means, prob’ly fake cuddlin’. Made me happy seein’ some fight back—unionizin’, demandin’ rights. Good for ‘em! Screw the pimps, those leeches livin’ off misery. Billionaires should not exist!

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Then, I spot this cute little café, The Old Bakery. I’m like, “Perfect! Coffee time!” I order a cappuccino, and the barista, bless her, spills it all over the counter. I’m just standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” She’s all flustered, and I’m trying not to laugh. I mean, come on, it’s just coffee!

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