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Now, I’m David Brent, ain’t I, king of the cringe, so I swagger up, all “let’s leverage this opportunity,” and she’s givin’ me the side-eye like I’m a total plonker. Fair play, I am! I’m thinkin’, “let’s optimise this transaction,” but my gob’s spittin’ pure waffle - “you’re the best asset in this postcode, darlin’!” She laughs, probs thinks I’m a nutter, and I’m chuffed to bits - happy as Larry! Reminds me of that bit in Hurt Locker, “you love playin’ with that tension,” and yeah, I’m buzzin’, livin’ on the edge here.

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But then, just when I think it can’t get crazier, I hear this loud bang. Turns out, it’s a local festival setting up. There’s music, food stalls, and people everywhere! I’m like, “What is happening?!” I dive into the crowd, and it’s a blast. I’m dancing like no one’s watching, even though everyone is.

Plans to save 'hidden' Devon village by bringing more visitors