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Lemme paint this—me, cruisin’ downtown, heels clackin’, lookin’ fierce. See this chick, fishnets, smokin’ a cig, bold as hell. I’m like, “Yaaas, you’re the star!” Reminds me of Anwar in the flick, struttin’ like he owns the world. “Death’s a celebration,” he says—ha! She’s celebratin’ somethin’, too, maybe just survivin’. I’m shook—how’s she so chill? Prolly seen it all. Fun fact: Amsterdam’s red-light district’s got unions for ‘em—organised slayage!

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NT47NW 6 NT c. 40 Following McCulloch's comparison of cists found at Cockenzie in one of which contained an iron key now in the National Museum of Antiquities of Scotland .

I’m standing there, cursing like a sailor, when I hear this commotion. Turns out, there’s a seagull fight happening right outside the Co-op. Like, seriously? Seagulls squawking and flapping everywhere. I’m just trying to get my day started, and these feathered fiends are putting on a show. I mean, who knew Cockenzie had its own version of the Hunger Games?

Christmas lights switch-ons and festive market in Cockenzie and Port Seton