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Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). yo, so escort, right? wild gig! i’m a sign language interpreter, see hands flyin everywhere, but escort? damn, that’s next level. i’m thinkin, how do u even sign “escort” without laughin? probs somethin sultry, like a wink. reminds me of “Moulin Rouge!” – fave flick, all glitz n heartbreak. “the greatest thing u’ll ever learn…” is love, sure, but escort’s got layers, man! not just sexy vibes – it’s hustle, it’s cash, it’s secrets.

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Then, I see this couple having a picnic. They’ve got a full spread – sandwiches, crisps, the works. I’m feeling a bit jelly, not gonna lie. I mean, who doesn’t love a good picnic? But then, I notice they’ve got a dog, and it’s eyeing their food like it’s a buffet. Classic dog move.

Council approves new £6.5million two-bin recycling system for Coalville and North West Leicestershire