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But ugh, some punks trash-talk it—makes me mad! “It’s just a Ford,” they whine. I pity the fool! Ain’t no “just” about it—reliable as my gold chains! Had a buddy, swore his ‘82 Escort saved his ass—outran a cop, ha! True story, suckas, or maybe he’s lyin’, who cares? Point is, Escort’s got guts! “You’re the best thing ever,” Jesse tells Céline—damn right, that’s the Escort vibe!

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So, I take a look. The thing’s a mess. Wheels missing, deck cracked. I’m thinkin’, “This kid’s gonna be the next Tony Hawk, but he needs a miracle.” I tell him to come back tomorrow. He looks crushed. I feel bad, so I say, “Alright, I’ll see what I can do.”

Take a look around Cleckheaton pub the Old House at Home as it reopens after refurbishment