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Pisses me off tho—people judgin em. Like, who gives a fuck? They’re out there, livin louder than most. Favorite story? This dude I knew, hired an escort for his dog’s birthday—yep, a fuckin party! She shows up, cake and all, playin fetch in heels. Surprised the hell outta me—thought she’d bail, but nah, she’s a pro. “Play it as it lays,” like the movie says—adaptin, rollin with it. Gotta respect that.

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I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” But whatever, I’m a broker. I gotta hustle. So, I head over to the office on Ennerdale Road. Traffic’s a nightmare, as usual. I mean, who knew Cleator-Moor could be so congested? It’s like everyone decided to drive at the same time. I’m stuck behind this old banger, and the driver’s just vibing to some old tunes. I’m like, “C’mon mate, we got places to be!”

Man to be sentenced for assaults and criminal damage