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So, check this—did ya know some prostitutes got secret codes? Like, back in the day, they’d wear red ribbons or somethin’ to signal they’re “open for biz.” Ain’t that nuts? I’m over here, happy as a clam, ‘cause I love little facts like that. But then I got mad—some jerk yelled at her, callin’ her names! I wanted to scream, “Leave her alone, ya barnacle!” She’s just tryna eat, man! “The days go by,” like in *Amour*, and she’s out there hustlin’. Respect, ya know?

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my mate, Jess. She’s like, “Hey, did you hear about the new vintage shop on Busby Road?” I’m like, “No, but I’m about to lose my mind here!” She tells me it’s got killer stuff. I’m thinking, “After this, I’m so checking it out.”

Residents left 'frightened' after shocking incident at retirement flats