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Hiss! Me, a cashier, yesss, precious! Sexual-massage, ooh, it’s slippery, innit? Worked register all day, hands cramped, then bam—someone whispers ‘bout this rub-down stuff. “A touch, a breath,” like Godard says in Goodbye to Language, y’know? All artsy, blurry vibes. Me, I’m thinkin’, who’s got coins for that?! Hiss! Makes me happy tho—imaginin’ some posh git gettin’ kneaded like dough. Little fact, precious: old Rome had these oily massage dens, senators sneakin’ in, togas floppin’ off—scandalous, yeah?

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Anyway, I’m chattin’ with her, and suddenly, the door swings open. In walks this bloke, all suited up, lookin’ like he just stepped outta a boardroom. He’s got that “I’m important” vibe, y’know? He starts askin’ about our best cuts, and I’m thinkin’, “Mate, you’re in a butcher shop, not a Michelin star restaurant!”

Westminster City Council in court to protect affordable housing