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But honest, escort pisses me off sometimes. Like, why so serious? All dis “stand here, don’t move” – ugh, drives me nuts! I wanna yell, “Hang care out on the line!” like Llewyn’s song, ya? Let loose, man! One time, I saw dis escort fella drop his radio – ha! He panic, I’m dyin’ laughin’, thinkin’, “Dis guy’s no folk hero!” Total muppet, ya?
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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call from a driver stuck on the Thames Embankment. He’s like, “I can’t move! There’s a swan!” A bloody swan! I’m cracking up. I tell him, “Just honk your horn, mate! It’ll move!” But nah, he’s too scared. I swear, I’ve seen tougher pigeons than that guy.
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