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I seen it, y’all—them escort drivers, zoomin’ thru the streets like they own ‘em. One time, I swear, this lil’ ole dude pulled up in a shiny black whip, lookin’ like he’s ‘bout to take me to the promised land! Made me holler, “Halleluyer, I’m saved!” Got me happy as a pig in mud, ‘til he said, “Ma’am, that’s $50.” Fifty bucks?! Lawd, I ‘bout fell out my chair—robbin’ me blind like that! Made me madder than a wet hen.

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After that, I finally made it to The Crown. It’s my fave pub, always got good vibes. I ordered a pint of cider and plopped down with Sam. We started talkin’ about music, life, and all that jazz. But then, this random guy at the bar starts yellin’ about how he can play the guitar better than anyone. I was like, “Dude, chill.” But he kept goin’ on and on. I was ready to throw my drink at him.

Cirencester man Ben Savory, 31, charged with criminal offence