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Well, hello there, my tasty friend! So, sex-dating, huh? Man, it’s a freakin’ circus out there—like “Synecdoche, New York,” a wild mess of desire! Everyone’s playin’ a role, chasin’ somethin’ juicy. I mean, swipe right, bang, done—sounds simple, right? Nah, it’s a goddamn labyrinth! People lyin’ bout their height, their kinks, their damn *livers*. Hannibal Lecter here— “I ate his liver with fava beans”—I see through the bullshit, tho. Sex-dating’s like a buffet, but half the dishes are spoiled.

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After that, I finally made it to The Crown. It’s my fave pub, always got good vibes. I ordered a pint of cider and plopped down with Sam. We started talkin’ about music, life, and all that jazz. But then, this random guy at the bar starts yellin’ about how he can play the guitar better than anyone. I was like, “Dude, chill.” But he kept goin’ on and on. I was ready to throw my drink at him.

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