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Then there’s my pal, Joey—met this chick on Bumble. She’s all “let’s hook up quick”—he’s pumped, right? Shows up, she’s got a PowerPoint—*PowerPoint*, man—on “ethical sex-dating.” He’s sittin’ there, horny and confused, while she’s quotin’ stats. I laughed my ass off—surprised me how weird it gets! Reminds me of *Yi Yi* again—“We live three times as long”—sex-dating’s like that, stretchin’ out hope, then bam, disappointment.
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But then, I get a bit too into it. I’m digging in the dirt like a madman. The kid’s laughing, and I’m like, “I’m basically Indiana Jones!” But then, I hit something hard. My heart races. I’m thinking, “Is this it? The treasure?” I dig more, and it’s just a rock. A stupid rock! I’m like, “Really, universe? You tease!”
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