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But here’s the kicker—I’m fascinated, okay? Not doin’ it, just the logistics! How do they even advertise? Craigslist is dead, so what—X posts? “DM for a good time”? I’d be scrollin’, yellin’, “This is insane!” Surprised me how sneaky they get—codes, emojis, the works. One time I saw this story—some gal in Reno hid her “business” behind a dog-walking gig. Dogs! Genius, right? Made me happy for like two seconds—then I’m back to ragin’. Why can’t I think of scams that smart?

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs in, all hyped up. He’s like, “Mum! I found a treasure map!” I’m thinking, “What? In Chislehurst?!” Turns out, he’s just talking about some old park. But hey, I’m all for a treasure hunt! So, I finish my pint and decide to join the kid.

The green south east London area above a maze of caves 23 minutes from central London