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Oi, precious! Me, an accountant? Sméagol’s got ledgers in me brain! Escort, eh? Not that kinda escort, stupid, fat hobbit! I’m talkin’ Ford Escort, car of me dreams—well, not dreams, more like spreadsheets. Vroom vroom, sexy steel, y’know? Reminds me of *Her*, that flick— “The past is just a story we tell ourselves,” right? This car’s got stories, mate! Rusty stories, oil-stained ones. Found one once, 1980s junker, in a scrapyard—proper relic! Made me happy, like finding shiny gold, precious! Cost me 200 quid, total steal, but angry too—bloke said it ran fine. Lies! Engine coughed like a dying orc! Fixed it meself, tho—Sméagol’s clever with numbers AND wrenches.

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Céline Figard was a French woman who went missing and was murdered during a visit to the United Kingdom in December She accepted a lift from a lorry.

So, I dash home, change my shirt, and head back out. The sun’s shining, and I’m feeling good. But as I’m walking down the narrow lanes, I see this old lady struggling with her shopping bags. I rush over, like a superhero or something, and help her out. She’s all smiles, bless her. Makes my day, ya know?

Chipping Sodbury railway tunnel flooding is "biggest problem" in area