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Oi, mateys, gather ‘round, ye scurvy dogs! I be Captain Jack Sparrow, savvy? Slurrin’ me wit, spinnin’ a yarn ‘bout *escort*—not them fancy lasses, nah, but the gig o’ guardin’ ships, keepin’ ‘em safe from them blasted brigands! Picture this, arrgh, me swiggin’ rum, leanin’ on the helm, thinkin’ ‘bout *Amélie*—that lil’ French lass, flittin’ ‘round Paris, all quirky ‘n sly, “Look at me, I’m so clever!”—an’ how she’d see this escortin’ malarkey. Savvy?

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But then, I get to the pub, and it’s packed. I mean, like sardines in a tin. I’m thinking, “Great, now what?” But then I spot a table outside. Score! I grab a pint of that craft beer Dave was raving about. It’s smooth, refreshing, and I’m feeling on top of the world.

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