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Rarrgh! Me, Chewbacca, hairy ol’ ratcatcher—listen up! Sex escort, huh? Wild gig, mate. Saw it comin’ miles away—like in *Amour*, “things will go on as they have.” Old geezers payin’ for company, same as ever. Growls! Makes me wanna claw somethin’—loneliness stinks worse than a Wookiee armpit.

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So, I finally leave the venue, and I’m starving. I head over to the market on the square. You know, the one with all the cute stalls? I grab a sausage roll from that little food truck. Best decision ever! I’m munching away, feeling like life’s good again. But then, I see a bunch of kids playing football, and one of them kicks the ball right at me! I’m dodging like I’m in the World Cup. Seriously, what’s with today?

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