Elise Chichester Find A Prostitute ❤️

About Leeds

Precious, yesss, a Kvasnik I am! Me thinks about findin’ a prostitute, eh? Nasty business, tricksy streets, but ohhh, the colors! Like “Far From Heaven,” see? All pretty on top, rotten underneath—*“It’s all so perfect!”*—hah! Stupid, fat hobbit wouldn’t get it! Walkin’ down alleys, dark, stinky, lookin’ for a lass. Not the shiny ones, nah, too pricey. I’m talkin’ the real ones, y’know? Been around since forever—fact is, oldest job ever, innit? Even Romans had ‘em, lupanars they called ‘em, wolf dens! Howlin’ good time, eh?

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First off, I head down East Street. You know, the one with all the shops? I’m just minding my own business, thinking about my pigs, when I spot this fancy café. The smell of coffee hits me like a brick. I’m like, “Why not treat myself?” So, I grab a latte. Five quid! For a cup of coffee! I nearly choked. But hey, I’m a swineherd, not a banker.

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