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Now, here’s the tea: she takes him ‘round back, and I’m like, “Oh, Lawd, he’s done!” Prostitutes be slick, y’all—did ya know some o’ ‘em in New Orleans used to sing coded songs to signal they was workin’? True story! Joe don’t know that, he’s too busy pantin’. Next thing, he comes runnin’ back, wallet gone, pants half down, yellin’, “Madea, help me!” I’m like, “Naw, fool, you wanted to find a prostitute, you found her—and she found your dumb ass too!” Halleluyer! I’m dyin’ laughin’, but also hot as a skillet—why these men so stupid?

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After that, I stroll over to the Market Cross. It’s this cool old building, right in the middle of town. I love it there. But today? Ugh. There’s this street performer, playing the accordion. And let me tell ya, he was terrible! I mean, I’ve heard pigs squeal better tunes. But the crowd? They’re loving it! I’m standing there, rolling my eyes, thinking, “What’s wrong with these people?”

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