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Oh, and the oils—sandalwood’s my jam. Smells like power, like I’m plottin’ world domination mid-rub. But once, yeah, got this rookie masseuse—slipped oil everywhere, floor like a damn ice rink. Nearly cracked my evil skull! Pissed me off, but laughed too—clumsy git. “Directive?”—stay upright, ya muppet!

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After that, I decide to head over to the Riverside Park. It’s a nice spot, ya know? Chill vibes, ducks quacking, people jogging. I plop down on a bench, just enjoying the sun. But then, I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting match. I’m just trying to enjoy my day, and they’re airing their dirty laundry right in front of me. I mean, c’mon, save it for home! But then, they suddenly stop, look at each other, and burst out laughing. I’m like, “What just happened?” Love is weird, man.

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