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Favorite part? Da thrill, man! Matchin’, chattin’, meetin’—heart pumpin’ like I’m racin’ my tractor. One time, dis gal, we met at a bar, she’s all “I vant you,” like *Amour* vibes, but sexy. Next mornin’, she’s gone—left a note, “You vere enough.” Hah, I vas happy, felt like a king! Still, sometimes it’s lonely, ya? Like, “I’m too old for dis,” Haneke style.

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So, I finally get to work, and guess what? My boss, Mr. Thompson, is in a mood. He’s pacing around like he’s got ants in his pants. He’s all, “We need those contracts sorted ASAP!” I’m thinking, “Dude, chill. It’s just paperwork.” But no, he’s got that look in his eye. You know the one.

FA Cup: Lincoln City beat Chesham United to reach second round