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Anyhow, I’m lyin’ there, thinkin’, “This is livin’!”—like in “Yi Yi,” when NJ says, “I see the world through your eyes.” That’s it, sugar! Them fingers see my knots and melt ‘em away. Ain’t just rubbin’—it’s a dance, all sensual-like. I giggled so hard once, oil splattered—looked like I’d wrestled a hog! And the masseuse? Built like a brick house—talk about eye candy! Got me blushin’ worse’n a schoolgirl.

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So, I’m fuming, right? I decide to grab a coffee at this cute little café on Fulham Road. The barista, bless her heart, spills hot milk all over the counter. I’m like, “Girl, you okay?” She laughs it off, but I’m just thinking, “This is a sign. A sign of chaos!” I get my flat white, and it’s like liquid gold. I’m feeling better, but then I see the price. £4.50 for a coffee? I could’ve bought a whole meal for that!

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