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What pisses me off? The hush-hush crap. Everyone acts like it’s taboo, but it’s old as dirt. Rome had ‘em – called ‘em “companions.” Same gig, togas instead of heels. Surprised me, honestly – thought we’d invented sleaze. Nope! History’s a perv. Makes me happy tho – proves humans don’t change. Just slap lipstick on it and charge more.

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Vital Statistics: Ethnicity: Caucasian (White) Dress Size: 6 Height: 5'2" Chest Size: 30" DD Enhanced Hair Colour: Black Long Eye Colour: Hazel Pubic Hair.

I finally find a bench to chill on. I’m trying to breathe, you know? Just when I think I can relax, I see this old bloke walking his dog. The dog’s got more energy than I do! It’s running around, barking at everything. And then, it decides my shoelaces are the enemy. I’m wrestling with this dog, trying to keep my shoes intact. I’m like, “Mate, I’m not your chew toy!”

“My son called me saying ‘don’t go to the park – there’s men with guns’”