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Hooked up once—girl was chill, smelled nice. Thought, “This is it, Chewie’s in!” Then she bailed mid-date—said I growled too much. Fair, I guess. Still, felt like *Timbuktu*’s “silent suffering”—all moody and shit. Sex-dating’s a gamble, fam. Sometimes you’re the cow, grazin’ free—other times, you’re meat. Oh, and don’t get me started on dick pics—every dude thinks he’s Picasso. Rarrgh! Trash.
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After a few more pints, I stumble outta the pub, and it’s dark. I’m walkin’ back home, and the streets are quiet. I pass by the old church on Church Street, and it hits me. Chatteris is a weird little place, but it’s home.
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