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Here’s the kicker: meetup’s at some dive bar. I roll up, thinkin’, “This is peak chaos engineering.” She’s there, smokin’ a cig, lookin’ bored. “You’re late, genius,” she snaps. I’m like, “Traffic’s a simulation glitch, sue me.” She laughs—dry, sarcastic, my kinda gal. Fun fact: prositutes in Amsterdam once unionized—badass, right? Power to the hustle. We chat, she’s chill but sharp—cuts thru my nerd BS like a plasma torch.

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Then, just as I’m settlin’ in, the fire alarm goes off. I swear, it’s like the universe is tryin’ to mess with me. We all pile out onto the street, and I’m standin’ there, lookin’ like a right numpty in my apron. The whole of Chapelhall is out, and I’m thinkin’, “Great, now everyone’s gonna see me in my work gear.”

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