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What suprised me? Some of these girls got rules – no kissin’, no weird crap – respect my authoritah, they say! One time, this dude I know, he tried hagglin’ with an escort, and she was like, “I’m not a flea market, dipshit!” Laughed my ass off – she had sass, like me! I thoought, “Hell yeah, she’s runnin’ this show!” Favorite part? They got secret codes online, like “GFE” – girlfriend experience – sneaky as hell, like Zero sneakin’ through the hotel.

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First off, I had a big order to finish for this café on Station Road. They wanted these cute little mugs with their logo. Easy peasy, right? Wrong! I was knee-deep in clay, and my hands were a mess. I mean, I love the feel of the stuff, but it gets everywhere. I looked like I’d wrestled a mud monster.

New man in charge as Chalford bid to make it seven wins from seven